SKELETON IN THE CLOSET

First and foremost, I want to thank you guys for sending me your heart felt birthday wishes. I really appreciate and I must say, it was a very humbling experience to get messages from people that I only may know through cyberspace but I guess friends are not people only in close proximity but are people that might seem geographically handicap but are always there when you do and don’t need them. You all really impressed me, seeing your comments and all. May God continue to fulfill your needs and may he take you from one stage of glory to another. Nice looking out guys! (Enough of emotional stuff oh! I wonder how many times I have to pull the plug on that)

Perfection

Perfection is phenomenon all humans strive for but for most times, it always seems out of reach. This does not mean perfection is unattainable, what it does mean is that the price for the attainment of perfection is too high for most humans to reach. Call the road to attaining perfection ‘chasing a horizon’. Technically speaking its something we all aspire to get but can’t really get (at least not in this life) so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to most people when they see or hear dirty news about seemingly moral and upright personalities. Who would have taught a loveable person like Owen Wilson could even think of attempting suicide or the Queen mother’s kleptomanic fetish or that a guy seen singing praises in church today could be a heroine addict. The truth is, nobody is perfect and so we should do ourselves the personal favor of not always expecting too much from our fellow humans because they are as fallible and susceptible to changes as we are.

A popular writer once said ‘Do not expect people to behave the way you want them to because you also don’t behave the way you want yourself to’

I guess if we all understand this succinct reality then we would all learn to

1) Take human disappointments in our stride

2) Not be too harsh on ourselves when we fall beneath our own expectations

3) Learn to forgive those who have wronged us

4) Be less judgmental of people in certain situations

5) Be more understanding of the people around us

6) Learn to be patient with people as well as with ourselves

7) Be more objective in our judgments (put yourself in peoples shoes)

8) Learn to be sympathetic to peoples plight (you might not fair so well if the same thing happens to your black ass)

9) Learn to have more faith in our fellow humanity (contradictory but true)

I never even start the main post, I don they yarn like person wey wan build church. But on a serious note make una think am sha, I just think say e go for good if I give una this voodoo make im no be say na so so laff una dey come laff when una visitation my blog. Ok! To the tori of the day.

Bloggers, I bet you all know the way we always look at our parents like saints, role models, mentors and the lot. The truth is, they actually are all this stuff but sometimes they kind of over exaggerate the picture they paint of themselves. One common example is.

Mr Uchiha- Sasuke where is your result?

Sasuke- Here Dad! (Placing the result in his hands)

Mr Uchiha- WHATTTT!!! What the hell is this?

Sasuke- my result Daddy!

Mr.Uchiha- Don’t be stupid! of course I know what the hell it is! C5 in simple English! That’s unacceptable. When I was in school, I was the most brilliant student in the whole school. I used to get all A’s. Go and ask your mother.

Sasuke- But dad, you once told me that you got knocked in the head by your teacher when he asked you what an aeroplane was and you said it was that ‘thing that made voo-voo-voo in the sky’.

Mr. Uchiha- Shaaaarrrrap!!! Must you remember everything I tell you? Now go to your room.

Honestly sometimes I don’t know why our parents bobo us in believing they are an epitome of perfection when in reality they are sometimes just as confused as we are. My friend Baba B also witnessed something similar with his dad. Baba B’s dad had a strong moral principle against drinking alcohol. He would go:

Baba B’s Dad- My son, alcohol is not good, it is a sign of gross irresponsibility and is a habit that should not be associated with any decent individual. As a matter of fact I was the only one among my peers who never drank and that’s why I was able to marry a beautiful woman such as your mother….bla…bla..bla.

Baba b initially swallowed the story hook line and sinker during his adolescent years. He however decided to move on to the dark side shortly after he got into the university. It was a baptism of alcohol; he virtually had tried his hands on everything ranging from spirits to beer. By the close of the semester he was already a steady and adventurous drinker.

During the long holiday he decided to clean up his dad’s room only to stumble on a brand of the intoxicant stashed away in a coded corner of the room. Baba B was Shocked to his wits ‘so this man fit dey code this kind inspiration for here abi! No wahala we go see who sabi code pass’.

Baba B soon started having a coded field day with the alcohol; he would drink from the bottle and return the drink back to the same spot. But little did he know that cat wey keep fish for corner know the quantity wey im keep there. Baba B’s dad somehow discovered that someone had been pilfering from his stash and decided to raise hell.

Baba B’s Dad- Baba B! Baba B! Baba B!

Baba B- Siiirrrrrrr!!!

Baba B’s Dad- Come here! (Swelling profusely)

Baba B- Yes dad

Baba B’s Dad- (Notice the word in italics) Who took ‘the thing’ in my room?

Baba B- Daddy I didn’t take anything from your room.

Baba B’s Dad- You, your mother and I are the only people in this house and I know it definitely isn’t your mother. So Baba B who took ‘that thing’ in my room?

Baba B- What thing daddy?( chei this man hard oh! so im no even fit call the name of the thing wey im leave for room)

Baba B’s Dad- My Friend don’t answer a question with a question, I say WHO TOOK OUT OF THAT THING I KEPT IN MY ROOM!?

Baba B’s mom enters the house to meet the raucous and goes on to inquire the source of the problem

Baba B’s Mom- What is all this noise I am hearing?

Baba B’s Dad- Somebody entered my room and took ‘something’ and I am trying to find who that person is.

Baba B’s Mom- Baba B, did you take anything from your dads room?

Baba B-No ma I didn’t ( Sho! this man harsh oh! well make we dey code dey go)

Baba B’s mom- By the way what is missing maybe I took it by mistake and….

Baba B’s Dad-(Kai! this pikin go pour sand-sand for my garri if i no quick settle this matter) DON”T PLAY ON MY INTELLIGENCE WOMAN!!! What is your business with what is missing? I am telling you Somebody took something in my room and you are here asking me questions…..in short….I don’t have time for this...(Incinerating Baba B with his eyes before Slamming his room door shut)

Baba B’s mom- What is your daddy looking for that he almost wants to break down the house

Baba B- (See problem oh! wetin go make popsie no fit mention wetin im dey find, she na me go come get two head talk am? mumsi no vex oh but) I don’t know oh!

Apparently, Baba B’s Dad had been hiding his drinking fetish from his wife as she would have torn the whole house apart if she had the slightest inclining that the two men under her roof were alcohol patrons. So I guess at the end of the day both men did a good job of keeping the identity of their little something under wraps. Now the thing be say papa done know say pikin don catch im lie-lie and pikin done know say papa done sabi say im dey guzzle. As dem they talk for Benin, “a guy cannot guy a guyman’ so therefore let the 007 continue.

I done go Ibadan for the weekend be that so all my people I wan make una maintain like a plantain on the mountain to sustain enough protein to Spain. Cheers.

Your Boy Sasuke.