Wednesday, August 6, 2008

DRUNKEN BLUES


Take one beer for my head now, take one beer for my head oh! Ewu! I for done marry oh ogogoro na you cause am oh! I for done marry ogogoro na you cause am oh!.

Bloggers it is not easy oh! But come to think of it, what exactly do people gain from getting high? The thing tire me self. Do not get me wrong I have not come here to preach to you guys because its almost too certain that I might end up with a drink before the day ends (very funny guys I certainly would'nt consider myself an alcoholic but pardon me if I indulge myself once in a while).

I grew up around people that drink and so it was all too easy for me to endear my self to the colored bottles (I prefer green by the way). I guess I had my first drink in J.S.S 3 or thereabout (I bet some of you even started earlier than I did…lol). Anyways drinking for me was one thing and getting high was another. Most of my alcoholic friends used to tell me that I simply never got high because I never took beyond my limits.The irony of the matter however is that, I never actually got the chance of knowing what my limit was as I only stopped consuming whenever I noticed I was getting full (the same feeling you get when you consume food). Usually, the ritual for me after such consumption is to go to the loo, pee and burp like someone with no good home training. Excuse me for a sec.'BUURRRRP' yes! that feels so much better (and i do have good toilet manners except when drunk of course...lol)

My inability to get high made me try a whole load of unconventional stuff like ‘Shekpe’ (roots dipped in gin) and some brand of native spirits. Somehow I guess these weren’t my thing as I just didn’t feel their steez. Anyways I soon started experimenting more on spirits and all of a sudden I started to get a hang of this stronger brand of drinks. Little did I know that I was starting the journey towards getting FUCKED UP. Anyhoos! Follow me as I take you on this journey of discovery.

Sometime during the month of July my cousin had decided to throw a party to celebrate his birthday. We had decided to throw the party in the house so as avoid cost and also create and environment for people to loose it ‘Fi le’ (leave it). My cousin and I rushed off to the Palms to get drinks for the party (ehn! Did I hear anybody say Awoof? You better not.)

Anyhoos we got a couple of drinks and started heading back home as our guests were already arriving. On our way home I noticed a supermarket and decided to still splurge some money on spirits. I went in and ordered for a brand recommended by a friend.

Sasuke- Madam! Please can I have a bottle of Absolute?

Madam- sure which one do you want the 40% or 50%

With a smirk on my face

Sasuke- madam, give me both.

I picked up the bill and made my way back to the car. In about ten minutes we were already home. I jumped out of the car with the drinks and rushed off to take a shower. after taking a shower I got into my 'kaks' (clothes) and made my way to the palour to set up the Gbedu ( na me be Dj una one try?)

Cousin- Sasuke we’ve been waiting on you abeg set up the deck

Sasuke- on it oh!

30 minutes later the party done dey rock. I had a bottle of shine-shine bobo with me as I spun the tracks. The party people were already sipping easy (nothing do us).

An hour later I can gladly tell you that there was no more lady or gentleman in the house plus I was almost through with my third bottle of shine shine (me I no be gentleman at all). Chics were grinding bobo’s like they were pepper. Na today! I got up from my seat and made my way to the kitchen to get the bottle of Absolute. I got a mini glass, made my way back to my seat and poured myself a drink. My eyes were watery as the first shot hit rock bottom ‘AKAMABOSA!!’

A chic came to pull me from my seat and I was soon ‘lorileing’ away. Ehn! Who dem be? Who born monkey give am pomo? Fi le. Gba be, She be! First I want to dance with you pere, omo ma lo ro kpe mo kere (another shot of vodka hit the dust) Gongo Aso otu pa oh! anywhere I dey Haba! Their papa left testicles (another shot of vodka greeted my throat)

I was rocking away with no dignity. I honestly do not know how many shots of vodka I took but all I can remember is that I had my shirt off and was harassing my tipsy dance partner voraciously.

I do not really understand if it was the dancing that didn’t make me feel the effect of the vodka instantly but I soon started getting the slightest hint that I was FUCKED when a friend asked me to escort her to get a cab at the junction.

Bubu- Sasuke please could you escort me to the junction to get a cab?

Sasuke- alrrrigggght noooo wahaaalla.

Bubu- Sasuke are you ok?

I wonder why she be dey ask me this jamb question. Shey she no dey see the answer for my eye ni?

Sasuke- Bubu don’t worry I am ok lets go (walking her to the door)

Bubu- Sasuke where are you going to without your shirt?

Sasuke- my shirt, what shirt? My friend I am fully dressed can’t you see? ( clutching my self in the process. Oh! boy I no wear cloth true true oh!)

Sasuke- okay hold on a minute ( I rushed of the the seater to get my shirt)

Sasuke- Oya! lest grow

Bubu- Sasuke are you high?

Sasuke- what nonstence is zis do I look highhh?

Bubu- Sasuke you are high

Sasuke- I am snot high

Bubu- let me get your cousin so you do not go and sleep in the gutter on your way back

Sasuke- na yous go skip gutter

She dashes back into the house and comes out with my cousin

Cousin- (giggling) oya lets go’

Bloggers as we descended the staircase if una see the way I take hold my cousin. im be like say the ground dey come meet me

Cousin- Sasuke was wrong with you abi you wan fall me?

Sasuke- Baba no vex im be like say I done gas out for the one wey I dey so

My cousin and Bubu both burst out laughing

Sasuke- Yes I admit it I am fucked abeg I no dey form na una hand I dey now

We got to the junction and started waiting for a taxi. I immediately saw a cars light in the distance and started waving frantically shouting on top of my eyes Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! I could see from the corner of my eye that my cousin and Bubu were not trying to stop the cab. I started jumping and waiving to attract the car.

Bubu and my cousin start laughing frantically.

Cousin- Sasuke na wha for you oh! shey you know fit see say na Camry 2008 you dey stop as taxi!

Bubu finally got a cab some minutes later. Bloggers na when me and my cousin dey waka go house na im I come realize say assuming say na only me escort Bubu come find taxi e for too sure say na inside gutter I for sleep that night.

Sasuke- Baba thanks oh! For escorting me.

Cousin- (laughing) no lele

Bloggers I bet you can already figure how the rest of my night went. Lots of vomiting and headache. All in the name of getting high. God punish Absolute. but that one no mean say if una get parri make una no invite me sha. Oya! take one beer for my head now, take one beer for my head oh!

Watch out for part 2

PS- Una no even ask me wetin do the second bottle of Absolute? people dey drink shaaaaa!!

Its your Boy Sasuke

53 comments:

Enigma said...

Drinkard!

Anonymous said...

DRUNKARD!!!

LG said...

Shayo na bas***d
lolllll
seems u ve not learnt ur lesson,
u go wound o

Flourishing Florida said...

dis man u wan kill me wit laughter, abi.

am too light-headed 4 alcohol. but a heartbreak drove me 2 consume vodka & gin mixed together. kai, kai. it was terrible. if i told d story, it wouldn't b funny so i don file am away as those things dat shouldn't repeat itself

Afrobabe said...

Lmao..I have actually heard of that drink but skipped it real fast..Get high on weed but that one sef fit show you dead people oh…

O'Dee said...

lol!

U definitely would have woken up in d gutter.

ibiluv said...

omuti!!!!!!!!!!

God save u say ya cuz like u!!!!!

Mz. Dee said...

omoDRUNKARD!!!

Make part two do come o... i no get patience lyk that

Ms.O said...

LMAOOOOOOOOO...ahh I have had those days..I got high one time on 75.5% Bacardi!!!..Lets just say me and my toilet where bestfriends that night.. Now I am a wine person!!!..Shayo!!!

The Activist said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm this picture sad it all. Sayo na b....d

The Activist said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm this picture sad it all. Sayo na b....d

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

lolololol.

shawooooooooooo. shea u don meet ur match now ern. forget limit, that shit wuld fuck u the hell up.

lol @ u shouting taxi.

menh! i for laff tire. oh gosh! this was a funny one.

i swear na u 4 get that gutter if say ur cousin no follow u.

looooooooooooooooooooooooooool!

bumight said...

so that's what shekpe means!

thankfully, gin and vodka taste nasty to me.

mizchif said...

Na wa for this our once a month blogging ehn Sasuke.

Good to see ur brake light sha.

Nuin does u, next time, look for Ray & Nephew, but also have a donor on standby for liver transplant!

Chari said...

buahahahaha!!!

U fcuk up o...but I know say ur own no reach ma own fuck up...

princesa said...

ROTFLMAO!
See as you dey disgrace me for here enh, sasuks!

Oya repeat after me :"I SHALL NOT TAKE MORE THAN ONE BOTTLE OF ANYTHING IN GREEN BOTTLE & NOT MORE THAN ONE SHOT OF ANY KNID OF SPIRIT"

Good boy!

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

drunkard. wat type of life do u leave it seems so hilarious. ur post crack me up

Anonymous said...

lmao ur too funny

theicequeen said...

tufiakwa! bloggers be dangerous specie oh! person never post finish, una don comment die..hmmmm, i gats to sharp up abi??....be back in a bit

theicequeen said...

tufiakwa! bloggers be dangerous specie oh! person never post finish, una don comment die..hmmmm, i gats to sharp up abi??....be back in a bit

theicequeen said...

"Oya! lest grow"..you've come again na, see me reading with tears in my eyes...me sha, i've never been drunk before oh! thunda faya devil, it will not happen, i will not mumu in public :P....i can be high oh, but i no dey pass wher i know is my limit..equivalent of 4 bottles of smirnoff ice (i never drink 4 befor oh! but i know say i go fit...)

Rayo said...

sassuuuuuukkkkkkeeeeeeeee. omuti. havent seen u in my blog in a wyl. u wan rundown?

Buttercup said...

lollllllll....chai...

i thank God i hate the taste of alcohol, otherwise, i know 'omuti' wud be my middle name...

thank God for Baba o!

LOL...

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Fcuked up????? if you ca actually ask someone to call a cab you aint half way there...wait until you go to a friends house for drinks, drink away (then blank>>>>>>fast forward next day late afternoon>>>>)
you both wake up in a town 240 miles away, in a strange house, strange beds wearing 'borrowed pJ's that u do not know you borrowed
you make your way to the living room where there are 6 individuals who you apparently dont recall meeting but they are so friendly which suggests something might have gone down with some of them last night..but which one.....only then will you know that you have been truly Fcukked up!!
ps Not a confession

badderchic said...

E no go berra for shayo o!

Mommy said...

Oloshi boy...

Parakeet said...

Lol Sasuke...I like this *My eyes were watery as the first shot hit rock bottom ‘AKAMABOSA!!’*

A lot of folks in nija drink too much, its like the onyl thing they know to do socially.

Abeg mi brother, te slow o!

Sienne said...

lol

u no kill pesin wit laffter oo

take ur tym o!


ROTFLMSAOSLMBITMSL

Afrobabe said...

oya, this place don reach to update...

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

"My name is Sasuke"
"I am an alcoholic"

lol! That is the first step to recovery oh! =)

Hope all is well my broda.

Mz. Dee said...

sasuke... O GINI?!?!?
update jo!!!

Sam Oracle said...

Oh my God, Sasuke you're a killer.
i just can't explain how loudly you got me laughing.
Man you've got talent.

Keep it up. Whatz good with you?

Parakeet said...

Have u gone on one of ur disappearing acts again?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

sasuke? where are you?

LG said...

BROS' dis ur hangover don pass be careful o' haba!!!!
abeg UPDATE so at least we go kno say u dey'


xoxoxoxo

miz-cynic said...

lmao.loj at stoping latest car as tyxi.ur cousin dey nice o

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Just checking in

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wow, you still haven't returned...

Buttercup said...

Im officially worried o..where u dey??

LG said...

we stil dey wait o

teebay said...

more grease.. shack for ur bottle

Queen of My Castle said...

I guess this means you aren't coming back?

'Yar Mama said...

Happy New Year.

Afrobabe said...

Hapy new year love...hope u are good...

Unknown said...

hmmmmmmmm

cerberus said...

vivo la vida hombre!!!!
MY

Unknown said...

SASUKE

Nibo lo gbalo?

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

[url=http://welcome-casino.aoaoaxxx.ru][img]http://s55.radikal.ru/i147/0912/3d/62ecfa4cfb24.jpg[/img][/url]

[IMG]http://s44.radikal.ru/i105/0912/3d/c3f5c104cbf9.jpg[/IMG]


[url=http://welcome-casino.aoaoaxxx.ru][img]http://i067.radikal.ru/0912/aa/ce3b42c93597.jpg[/img][/url]














































[u][b]We can be found by these keywords:[/b][/u]
[url=http://welcome-casino.aoaoaxxx.ru/sitemap.html]foto salsa casino venezuela [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/chip-casino-michigan.html]ganar maquina casino [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/new-casino-bonuses.html]casino descarga portal internet [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/tropicana-casino-resort-atlantic-city.html]casino poquer apuesta [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/las-vegas-casino-guide.html]blue chip casino [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/rio-casino.html]casino online bajar [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/mohegan-sun-casino-uncasville-connecticut.html]casino [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/d-casino.html]apuesta online jugar keno juego casino [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/casino-strategy.html]aladdin casino vegas [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/casino-graz.html]cannes sofitel mandelieu royal casino [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/brisbane-casino.html]casino strip poker video [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/montecito-casino.html]gran virtual casino [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/san-juan-casino.html]nd casino forum [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/high-roller-casino.html]aladdin casino resort [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/poker-casino-game.html]casino party game [/url]
[url=http://vegasonlines.net/casino-west-wendover.html]online casino bingo [/url]
casino cordoba
[b]niagara casino rooms[/b]
internet casino joker wild poker
progressive casino game
[b]best no download online casino[/b]
casino pintura exposicion
[u]maquina tragaperras casino[/u]
casino poker black jack
quotes from casino
[b]casino floor plan[/b]
casino bonus central
juego linea casino actividad bancaria d

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site...

azdg dating site
russian flex girls
sexy russian brides free photos
dating sites online
online dating sites dating free good tie
http://blackamericans.com/members/Gefhorereep.aspx - russian date bride
http://community.videospin.com/members/Onerceexive.aspx - amateur russian girls
http://www.2020people.com/node/9179 - coasta rican girls women brides
http://blackamericans.com/members/Floalablalp.aspx - larry mark stevens russian bride
http://community.videospin.com/members/preersLow.aspx - single dating site

Anonymous said...

[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=35][img]http://s002.radikal.ru/i200/1001/f0/0ddd2280d906.jpg[/img][/url]












[url=http://deuaexj.naheliegend.de/]buy pop up cigarette case [/url]
buying foreign cigarettes buy british cigarettes cigarette order online
[url=http://ubpscsn.pro.ac/sitemap.html]buy marlboro cigarette [/url]
where to buy wave cigaretts order cigarettes indian reservation order bidi cigarettes
[url=http://wcsoius.biz.co.nl/sitemap.html]e cigarette buy online [/url]
order eclipse cigarettes buying cigarettes online forum where to buy cigarettes wholesale
[url=http://uvfaquc.akzentuiert.de/]order bidi cigarettes [/url]
age to buy cigarettes in ny buying cigarettes from europe age to buy cigarettes in new jersey
[url=http://wcsoius.biz.co.nl/]buy cigarettes usa [/url]
buy canadian cigarettes order cigarettes from florida buy french cigarettes
[url=http://vonzura.misslich.de/]buy cigarettes from russia [/url]
order electric cigarette buy capri cigarettes online buy cigarettes in prague
[url=http://vjzvmeu.il.gp/sitemap.html]order newport cigarettes creditcards accepted [/url]
cheapest country to buy cigarettes buy exoctic flavored cigarettes age to buy cigarettes in us
[url=http://mlwqdwu.xn--baldmglichst-8ib.de/]buy virginia slims cigarettes online [/url]
carolina cigarettes buy order ky cigarettes buy cigarettes california
[url=http://tyouhca.xn--geglckt-q2a.de/sitemap.html]where to buy cigarettes under 18 [/url]
where can you buy rockets cigarettes buying cigarettes online canada buy barclay cigarettes europe
[url=http://uvfaquc.akzentuiert.de/sitemap.html]buy cigarettes in kansas [/url]
buy cigaretts buy cigarette holder buy online cigarettes

Anonymous said...

Aside to pass the bedim with two backs casinos? shot at during the movement of and beyond this sharp [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] handbook and diligence online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also hold-up our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] concede something at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and fructify in resultant substitute !
another adscititious [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] direct is www.ttittancasino.com , dispense object of german gamblers, remunerate manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

While popularity of the sport is unquestionably on the rise, the U And where you can locate deals in on the internetFor some it is an easy choice to go into the enterprise as an NFL jersey wholesaler or to include them as stock in a retail keep In total anticipation of Manning carrying a clipboard Sunday, BetOnline presently has the Colts as nine-point underdogs; that's a nine stage proceed from in which they initially opened at a pick 'em Whatever design you select, the employees will like to wear them It could be debated that the opportunity to investigate and explore the natural environment provides children with the knowledge and understanding of how they could use their surroundings Thank you! This study guide gave me the confidence I needed to pass CIPTS 1Y0-740 certifications on the first try! Thank you guys
Because the Packers are now three games ahead, their next meeting JanThis way a management strives to have the right number and the right kind of people at the right places at the right time These days, your own desire will likely be become a reality Decide which one you want to join in I'm also likely to throw in the Gambling and Tennessee Titans, who would be the likely winners should either from the first couple of stumble When they were about the field, the Steelers took away Tom Brady's favorite targets (Rob Gronkowski, Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez) and made him throw to Chad Ochocino or Deion Branch
MLB Jersey was engineered and complete to appearance the alone teamThe way to acquisition the amateur you like a lot of is the aboriginal footfall that you should do We supply nfl jerseys wholesale, Dallas Cowboys jerseys, Chicago Cubs jerseys on this sort of contentious negotiations, it is really difficult, and occasionally impossible, to determine which part carries an extremely much better case The fabric is not of a bad qualityWith NLF jerseys genuine is the name of the game

[url=http://www.redskinsnflprostore.com/robert-griffin-iii-jersey-elite-c-6_46.html]white robert griffin iii jersey[/url]
[url=http://www.redskinsnflprostore.com/perry-riley-jersey-elite-c-6_39.html]Perry Riley Jersey[/url]
[url=http://www.redskinsnflprostore.com/pierre-garcon-jersey-elite-c-6_28.html]Pierre Garcon Jersey Elite Nike[/url]