OZIGODO THE STUPID ONE!

Yes! Babylet, Brotherlet, Kokolet, Sisterlet, Mamalet and Papalet. Your bloggerhood Friendly Sasuke is Back and as per say na new month I gast instill some new changes. Yes oh! Change is the only constant thing ‘e le pa mi’ (you can’t kill me). I have gone to the confines of Princesa’s blog to get the ever handy visitor detection spray. Yes for all you that come to my site without leaving a comment na FEEDJIT (I just pray I don’t have to feed the darn thing) go Fleet all of una because monkey no go dey work may Baboon dey chop in this modern era of ours. Feedjit has now become my gateman Mukaila anybody wey do anyhow, go see anyhow. On a lighter note abeg no be shout I dey shout na beg I dey beg make una dey try leave comment but for all those who do I want to say a big thank you once more for all your support.

Now for the Post of the day.

Stupidity is a vice most rational humans try to avoid because it stinks like a public toilet. No sane person likes the feeling attached to being labeled stupid or better still no right thinking person likes to find his or herself in a stupid situation (trust me the thing dey pain like say person put yansh untop 12 dozen ‘Unsafety pins’ ‘if you get my drift’).To buttress my point how come most confrontations start when one of the party involved asks the other ‘Are you trying to make me feel stupid or what?’ Slap and heavy blow wan follow be that if the other party no fit provide good answer.

The annoying thing is that however hard you try to avoid associating yourself with this vice it just has its annoying way of finding you out. I know a lot of us have experienced one stupid situation at one point in our lives and at such point, you almost will the ground to open up and put you out of your shame. However, I must commend most of us that even make the conscious effort to try to avoid the ‘Soapy’ vice. To some other people stupidity has become a very profitable virtue as a matter of fact na this kin people for Yoruba them they call ‘Ode’ for Benin dem dey call them ‘Ozwor’ For Igbo dem they call them ‘Onyezuzu or Oluku’ for Hausa dem go say ‘Dan iska’ then for English we know them as ‘fools’ or better put ‘BIG FOOLS’.

One of my acquaintance in Secondary School was one of such character (if you notice I no call am my friend make una no talk say birds of the same feather flock together). I never see person wey foolish reach Ozigodo as he was popularly called then. Make I nak un this im tori so una go be the judge.

Ozigodo was a twenty something year old SS2 student. This guy old no bi small as a matter of fact when God dey create world and im say ‘Let there be water’ na Ozigodo be the first man wey start to dey fish. Bloggers this guy old.

It so happened that Ozigodo had feelings for a girl named Judith who was the SS1 hotie at that time. Ozigodo would bore us sick day in day out with tales of his feelings for the girl. He was love stoned. To be honest with you guys Ozigodo didn’t stand a chance of even commanding the girls’ attention as the guy ‘wowo’ (ugly) no be small. As a matter of fact ‘wowo’ (ugliness) stand for im back with broken bottle dey harass the guy ‘fine make I see if I no go chuk you bottle’. Realistically, he had no chance but trust boys now! We somehow made him forget about his facial handicap and spurred him on to make his feelings known to the girl. (We used to seek for activity like crazy so pardon us if we found a suitable scapegoat)

Sasuke- Ozigodo, Track this girl, she dey crase self who she be make she no gree for you?

Coco- Guy if she no gree, use seniority for am she must gree.

Ozigodo- Shewwww! As a fine boy! Make una leave the girl that one na small thing.

( Chei!! see this Lepricon dey call himself fine boy)

The unexpected D-Day came about some few weeks later. Eleven of us had assembled at our favorite hang-out spot to observe our lunch break. Ozigodo was still in his usual love stoned mood.

Ozigodo- ‘Men! I just dey crase for that Judith girl. If the girl fit marry me I go too happy. Una no see how the babe fine for face come set for body…. ololololo!!!’.

(He would do a jig while caressing the ironing board pillar like he had Judith in his arms)

Like say God one put an end to the drama, we saw Judith walking towards us.

Sasuke- ‘Ozigodo na your chance be this try control the girl at least she no go fit form where we dey. Abeg no dull up.

Coco- ‘Yes Ozigodo just call am come this zone’

Abraski- Nothing do you Ozed. Just follow the babe ‘word’ (talk). I swear she go jell’.

Ozigodo- ‘Una say make I call am? How I look?’

Chorus- Call am!!!

Bloggers it was a catastrophe already waiting to happen I swear to toast woman no be one day job oh!

At this time Judith had gotten to where we sat. Ozigodo immediately called out to her and as she approached us (Bloggers as im open im mouth Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed once again).

Ozigodo- HELLO JUDITH! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

Before the girl even fit answer all our lunch done fall for floor as we all busted out laughing. ‘Chei! Ozigodo done ‘Pot Black ball’ oh! (Ozigodo don fuck up) Make una see this yeye boy when no gree allow person rest with im ‘Judith this, Judith dat’ the babe done come now you dey ask for name wey you just call am. Which Kind Parus be dis one? Bloggers make una see me see trouble. Abi na force to toast woman?

Judith walked off pissed. The poor girl probably thought it was a setup not knowing Ozigodo was just being his usual stupid self. Abeg make una help me say ‘BIG FOOL’

I done Jam people for this world wey I come. Watch out for part two

MY QUIRKS

This quirking or quacking of a thing! Well who am I to refuse to take the tag- baton passed to me by Darkelcee and Mommy well here it goes.

1) I have a lip-licking fetish- I lick my lips anywhere, anytime and anyhow. I think the only time I don’t indulge in this habit is when I am asleep (I aint even sure about that. my tongue could still be keeping them moist while I sleep). I picked up the habit in secondary school and it is one I am finding very hard to loose.

2) I have a Fetish for Boxer shorts- Nothing excites me more than a fresh pair of boxers. Honestly I don’t know why. My family has already caught up on this my fetish. Anytime someone travels I am usually the one to end up with the most amount of briefs and here is the weird part: I LIKE IT!!!!

3) I got a large amount of birthmarks on my goods- honestly I don’t know the significance (maybe it purifies the ladies, I don’t know!, maybe I would be a Father of many nations, I don’t know! ‘and I do practice it safe when I bang pelvises’).its quite a large amount I have going for me down there. A chick counted them for me once and it was like fifteen.

4) I am a Rock freak- nothing gets me going more than a good dose of rock. Now here is a secret guys ‘I have often fantasized listening to Coldplay on a drive back from dinner with that special person’. 3doors down, Red hot chill peppers, Keane, Moby, 12Stones, Greenday, Wheatus, Hinder, Linkin Park, Stained. I love the whole lot.

5) I like nice feminine lips- On a physical front there is a 50% chance I would be on a babes case if she has the lip thing going for her. I once dated a girl and couldn’t kiss her cause she didn’t have the kind of lips I could kiss. Poor girl, she didn’t even know. kind of made up by pecking her alot ‘heinous’ I know.

6) I am a die hard Arsenal Fan- I guess most of you know this fetish already

I hereby tag any untagged blogger. Let’s hear your quirk.

It’s your boy Sasuke.